From Survival Mode to Alignment: How Human Design Changed My Life

For most of my life, I believed success meant handling everything myself, acting fast, and pushing through obstacles. If I wanted something done, I did it myself. If an opportunity showed up, I took it—no hesitation, no second thoughts. I was convinced that the only way forward was through sheer force and determination.

At first, this mindset seemed to work. But by the time I turned 32, I hit a wall. I was exhausted, drained, and stuck in a cycle that no longer made sense. The survival tactics I had relied on weren’t sustainable.

That’s when Human Design and BG5 entered my life—and everything changed.

Why I Adopted a Survival Mindset

I didn’t just wake up one day with the belief that I had to power through life alone—I picked it up from the world around me.

🔹 Society rewards action—hustle, quick decisions, and constant productivity.

🔹 Work culture pushes independence—if you want something done right, do it yourself. 

🔹 People admire resilience—but only the kind that looks like “pushing through” without stopping.

I spent years trying to force myself into a system that wasn’t built for me. I followed the path of builders and express builders, even though I wasn’t one. I ignored my natural way of processing, waiting, and recognizing alignment—and the cost was burnout.

The Moment My Perspective Shifted

In 2020, I had a chance conversation with a stranger that led me to Human Design and BG5. At first, I didn’t fully understand it. But something about it felt important, like a missing piece I hadn’t been able to name.

Over time, I realized: 

 ✅ My natural interaction style wasn’t broken—it was just different. 

 ✅ I wasn’t meant to force results—I was meant to work with timing and recognition instead. 

 ✅ Slowing down wasn’t weakness—it was strategy.

Human Design showed me why my old approach wasn’t working and how to shift toward a way of living that actually made sense for me.

Do You Have to Wait for Recognition for Everything?

One of the biggest questions people ask me:
> “Do you really have to wait for recognition and invitation before doing anything?”
The answer? Yes and no.
🔹 Waiting does matter for the big things—where to live, where to work, who to build relationships with. 

🔹 But for day-to-day life? No. I don’t need recognition to eat, go outside, or take care of myself.

The real challenge is knowing when recognition matters—and when it doesn’t.

How Recognition Transformed My Life

Where I Live

I grew up in Youngstown, Ohio, always craving adventure. But I didn’t just wake up one day and move across the country. It happened slowly, over time.
I visited Los Angeles often, and each time, it felt more like home. I wasn’t rushing—I was gaining clarity. By 27, I knew it was time to leave. The move felt natural because I wasn’t forcing it—I was recognizing the right timing.

My Career

I never followed the traditional job application process. Every major shift in my career happened because someone recognized my skills and invited me into an opportunity.
✅ My first coaching role started because someone saw my dedication and invited me to get certified. 

✅ My leadership roles happened because I was recognized for my strengths, not because I chased them. 

✅ My best career moves came from being seen, not forcing visibility.

Whenever I tried to force myself into opportunities, I felt unseen, frustrated, and stuck. Forcing recognition doesn’t work. Letting it happen naturally does.

Social Interactions: Why I Stopped Pushing Conversations

In the past, I was the one who initiated everything—the first to text, call, or check in. But most of the time, I was met with silence, disinterest, or people who were too busy to engage.

Now? I wait for people to reach out. If someone asks why I don’t text first, I simply say: 🗣️ “Communication goes both ways.”

No pressure. No resentment. Just letting relationships unfold naturally instead of forcing them.

How Advisors Can Invite Without Pushing

For Advisors, the way we ask questions matters. Instead of throwing out vague invitations, we structure them so they feel natural and easy to accept.

💡 Example: 

 🚫 “We should hang out sometime.” (Too vague, too open-ended.) \

✅ “Want to grab Mexican food this Friday at 7 PM?” (Clear, direct, easy to say yes or no.)

See the difference? The second approach gives clarity—it removes the guesswork. This same approach works for jobs, collaborations, and even simple conversations.

Group Recognition: Why It’s Not Automatic

Imagine being called on in a meeting—your boss asks for your input, but half the team isn’t paying attention. You might feel invisible, frustrated, or even resentful.

But here’s the truth: Being recognized by one person doesn’t mean you’re recognized by the whole group.

Here’s how to handle it: 

 ✅ Acknowledge the boss’s invitation: “I’d love to share my thoughts on this.” 

 ✅ Then, invite the team: “Would the group be interested in hearing my approach for this phase?”

Instead of feeling overlooked, this approach makes sure your input is welcomed by more than just one person.

Closing Thoughts

When you work with timing, recognition, and invitations, life flows in ways that feel natural. You stop forcing outcomes, and start letting things unfold when the time is right.
Growth isn’t about fixing yourself—it’s about understanding what’s been holding you back and using it to move forward in a way that actually works.

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