Healing by Design | Shared Wisdom from Life's Experiences

Betrayal, Manipulation, and the Journey to Reclaiming Myself What happens when the person you care about the most becomes the one who causes you the deepest pain? For five years, I was in a relationship with Spencer, my ex-fiancé. He seemed like my best friend—someone I could trust, someone I built my life around. But eventually, the cracks started to show, and I realized this relationship wasn’t what I thought it was. The moment I knew I was in a narcissistic abusive relationship was when I saw how everything felt one-sided. His needs, his priorities, and his agenda always took center stage. When he pretended to “understand” me, it was only to manipulate or control me. I also started to recognize the cycle of reactive abuse—how he would provoke emotional reactions from me and then use them against me, making me question my own sanity. He drained my time and energy, slowly pulling me away from the things that mattered most in my life. What is Betrayal Trauma? Betrayal trauma happens wh...

For most of my life, I believed success meant handling everything myself, acting fast, and pushing through obstacles . If I wanted something done, I did it myself. If an opportunity showed up, I took it—no hesitation, no second thoughts. I was convinced that the only way forward was through sheer force and determination . At first, this mindset seemed to work. But by the time I turned 32, I hit a wall. I was exhausted, drained, and stuck in a cycle that no longer made sense. The survival tactics I had relied on weren’t sustainable. That’s when Human Design and BG5 entered my life—and everything changed. Why I Adopted a Survival Mindset I didn’t just wake up one day with the belief that I had to power through life alone —I picked it up from the world around me. 🔹 Society rewards action —hustle, quick decisions, and constant productivity. 🔹 Work culture pushes independence —if you want something done right, do it yourself.  🔹 People admire resilience —but only the kind that looks...

In the world of Human Design , also known as the Science of Differentiation , survival isn’t just about enduring—it’s about knowing your strengths, recognizing threats, and working with your natural strategy instead of fighting against it. Each of the four Human Design Types— Manifestors, Generators (including MGs), Projectors, and Reflectors —has a specific way of moving through life that determines what will help them thrive and what will burn them out . When you understand your Type from the perspective of survival , you stop wasting energy fighting battles that aren’t yours. Instead, you align with what keeps you resilient, capable, and protected . Generators: The Life Force Energy to Build & Sustain Life Generators and Manifesting Generators make up nearly 70% of the population . They are the life force of humanity , the ones who create, sustain, and power the systems we depend on . For Generators, survival means responding —not chasing, not forcing, but allowing energy to ...

  Reflectors, or Evaluators, are not just rare; they are survival specialists in a world that often moves too fast for deep reflection. Their heightened sensitivity allows them to perceive energy shifts before others even realize change is coming. This ability is both a gift and a challenge—without proper alignment, Evaluators can become overwhelmed, mirroring instability instead of providing insight. Thriving Requires the Right Environment Survival for Evaluators isn’t about adapting to their surroundings; it’s about choosing the right surroundings. Much like a tracker reading the land before setting up camp, Evaluators must assess environments carefully. Toxic settings drain their energy, leading to burnout, while authentic, high-frequency spaces empower them to function as wise observers and energetic stabilizers. Survival Tactics for Reflectors Observe, Reflect, Adapt: Evaluators operate on lunar cycles, meaning clarity comes over time. Immediate decisions can lead to misalign...

You’re Here to Start, Not Finish As a Manifestor, you’re wired to take action, set things in motion, and spark change. But here’s the catch—you’re not built to do all the work yourself. Your strength is in getting things going, not grinding through every little detail. When you try to push past your natural limits, frustration builds, resistance rises, and burnout is inevitable. Understanding your energy isn’t just a strategy—it’s survival. Know How You Work (So You Don’t Work Against Yourself) Manifestors are the ones who make the first move. You see what needs to happen before others do, and when you act, people feel it. Your energy creates ripples—sometimes waves. This is why informing people before you act is a game-changer. It helps things flow instead of hitting walls. When your energy is aligned, you feel at peace—things just work . But when it’s off, anger shows up, warning that something’s blocking your path. Instead of ignoring it or pushing through, use that signal to adjust...

Your Energy Is Your Survival Tool—Use It Wisely As a Generator, you have one of the most powerful energy reserves in the world. But survival isn’t just about having energy—it’s about using it right . You’re designed to build, create, and keep things moving, but if you keep forcing your energy into the wrong things, it will drain you instead of fueling you. Frustration? Burnout? Exhaustion? These aren’t random problems—they’re signals. Just like a survivalist reading the land before making a move, you need to read your energy before committing. What excites you? What drains you? When you start listening to those answers, you stop just “getting through the day” and start thriving . Survival Skills for Generators 🔎 Respond, Don’t Chase – Ever seen a hunter waste energy running after prey instead of waiting for the right shot? That’s what happens when you chase opportunities instead of responding to the ones meant for you . The best moves come when you wait for something that feels ...